Right Ho, Jeeves

“Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“I don't want to wrong anybody, so I won't go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature calculated to excite the liveliest of suspicions. Well, I mean to say, when a girl suddenly asks you out of a blue sky if you don't sometimes feel that the stars are God's daisy-chain, you begin to think a bit.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two verydifferent things.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“Beginning with a critique of my own limbs, which she said, justly enough, were nothing to write home about, this girl went on to dissect my manners, morals, intellect, general physique, and method of eating asparagus with such acerbity that by the time she had finished the best you could say of Bertram was that, so far as was known, he had never actually committed murder or set fire to an orphan asylum.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“Jeeves, I'm engaged.""I hope you will be very happy, sir.""Don't be an ass. I'm engaged to Miss Bassett.””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?””

— P. G. Wodehouse

“I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.””

— P. G. Wodehouse