Robert Mackenzie

“Toxic shame is the feeling that we are somehow inherently defective, that something is wrong with our being. Guilt is “I made a mistake, I did something wrong.” Shame is “I’m a mistake, something is wrong with me.” At the core of our wounding is the unbearable emotional pain resulting from having internalized the false message that we are not loved because we are personally defective and shameful.”

“It was down in Jake’s old barroom Behind the Patsies’ park; Jake was settin’ ’em up as usual And the night was agittin’ dark. At the bar stood ole Verne Mackenzie, And his eyes was bloodshot red””

“Ian revealed a characteristic part of his temperament well before I had an opportunity to influence him with my limit-setting or guidance methods. He has been this way ever since. This is part of his unique style of behaving. I didn’t cause it. It was already there. I just discovered it. All children have their own unique temperaments or inborn styles of behaving. This preferred style of behavior is innate. The parents’ actions, lifestyle, values, or beliefs did not cause their child to behave this way. Temperament is not caused by environmental factors, but it does interact and interplay with these factors.””