D. S. Andrews

“He finished the bandage and was examining it critically."You know those things are unreliable." His voice held just a touch of reproach.“Eleven out of twelve work fine. I’d say that’s better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try.””

“What’s this ”“A needle.”“What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room.””

“Andrea turned her back to Desandra and rolled her eyes. Raphael grimaced. They both looked scandalized. Dear God, what could she have said to scandalize a bouda...“No, really!” Desandra nodded. “Okay, so most guys don’t have a nice ball sack, right? It looks all hairy and wrinkled like some small animal died between their legs, but Gerardo’s is like two plums in a velvet bag...”Derek, who’d been lingering in the doorway, took a careful step to the left behind the wall and disappeared from my view. I raised my hand. “Hold that thought. I need to borrow Andrea for a minute.”I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hallway. Behind us Raphael growled, “Don’t leave me!”Andrea leaned towards me. “Plums.”“Listen...”Andrea raised her hands, imitating holding plums the size of small coconuts, and moved them up and down.””