The Amateur Gentleman

“Adieu, my ladies. If you ever venture to Scotland…leave the husbands at home. (Braden)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“You better not tup our sister! Or you’ll be having us to deal with, Braden MacAllister! (Duncan)Could I please just deal with one threat of death at a time? (Braden)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“Well, well. What have we here? (Thief #1)Looks like we got some little pigeons just right for a plucking. (Thief #2)Well, well. What have we here? (Sin)Looks like a pack of fools wanting to die. (Braden)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“Ever the charmer, eh, Braden? (Sin)Hold your tongue, Sin. (Braden)I would, but with my luck, one of your giant Scottish bugs would land on it. Besides, it makes my hand wet and pruney when I do that. (Sin)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“Especially given the severity of some of her curses. God help him if any of them ever came true. Why, he’d be a two-headed, three-toed, monkey-nosed, blind son of a cesspit-licking lackey if she had her way. (Braden)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“And are you suspicious of me? (Maggie)Woman, I’m suspicious of anyone who acts altruistically. I’ve only known a handful of people in my entire life who were actually kind. The vast majority of people only help others when they know it’ll benefit them in some manner. (Sin)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“Your brother is a beslubbering, churlish, hell-governed princox, and I hope one day he gets the beating he deserves for it. (Maggie)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“You arrogant, apish, underhonest lewdster! (Maggie)””

— Jeffery Farnol

“Do I need to go for a stroll? (Sin)Nay. I’m merely trying to kill your brother. (Maggie)””

— Jeffery Farnol