Taking the Census: A Farce

A census taker arrives at Mrs. Almira Johnson's door expecting routine questions and quick answers. What he gets is something else entirely. Mrs. Johnson, a woman of formidable wit and even more formidable opinions, interprets his official inquiries through a lens of spectacular suspicion. Is he a policeman? A bill collector? A man with designs on her son Alexander? The answers she provides are technically accurate and absolutely unhinged in equal measure. Written in the early 20th century, this short farce crackles with the energy of a comedy of errors played out in one household. The humor lands in the gap between bureaucratic formality and human chaos, between what the census taker needs to know and what Mrs. Johnson is willing to reveal. Guptill gives her protagonist a sharp tongue and faster instincts, turning the mundane task of vital statistics gathering into a battlefield of wits. For readers who enjoy period comedy with bite, this is a quick, fizzy piece that treats the absurdity of officialdom and the indomitable spirit of a mother protecting her domain with equal relish.