Helen M. Persons

“Is this too dressy?" is Southern Lady code for: I look fabulous and it would be in your best interest to tell me so."I'm not crazy about it" is code for: I hate that more than sugar-freepunch."What do you think about her?" is code for: I don't like her."She's always been lovely to me" is code for: I don't like her either."She has a big personality" means she's loud as a T. rex."She's the nicest person" means she's boring as pound cake."She has beautiful skin" means she's white as a tampon."She's old" means she's racist as Sandy Duncan in Roots."You are so bad!" is Southern Lady code for: That is the tackiest thing I've ever heard and I am delighted that you shared it with me."No, you're so bad!" is code for: Let's snitch and bitch."She's a character" means drunk."She has a good time means slut."She's sweet" means Asperger's."She's outdoorsy" means lesbian."Hmm" is Southern Lady code for: I don't agree with you but am polite enough not to rub your nose in your ignorance."Nice talking with you" is code for: Party's over, now scoot.””

“It’s no wonder Danes are so happy. They have an obscenely good quality of life. Yes, it’s expensive here. But it’s Denmark – it’s worth it. I don’t mind paying more for a coffee here because I know that it means the person serving me doesn’t a) hate me or b) have a crappy life. Everyone is paid a decent wage, everyone is looked after, and everyone pays their taxes, just as I pay mine. And if we all have marginally less money to buy more stuff that we don’t really need anyway as a result, well I’m starting to think it’s a deal worth making.””

“I've had more than one person tell me how courageous and strong I am, how brave and cutting-edge. I'm not any of those things. I'm just another person living my life and trying to make my way in the world, a person who has found out that love is complicated and life is difficult, but that companionship is worth all the king's ransom.””