“Ignored children typically live with a sense of constantly letting themselves down and having no one but themselves to blame for their misfortunes. From the list of things that ignored children are ashamed of, it becomes clear that there are here several layers of shame on top of each other, and all of them consist of deeply toxic and indigestible shame.””
“as anxiety with no particular content, as physical tension or illness, as shyness, as phobias, as a feeling of being easily overwhelmed from being with other people, as avoidance of social and intimate relationships, or just as a feeling of stress.””
“They may find the world a terrifying and hostile place that can only be survived with constant, very great effort. It is typical of a neglected person that, whatever is not right in their life, there is often no narrative to account for its origin, in the way that a person who has suffered abuse (or a marked loss or a similar event) will have a narrative of, “This happened and it affected me in a certain way, and that’s the reason that I am as I am now.” A person who has been neglected may not have such a narrative but instead may be left to feel that they are just odd. They may in the past have been blamed for being odd and not responding “like a normal person.” Usually they feel dreadfully ashamed of how they are.””
“Without trust there’s no way that any organization can sustain innovation. Because without trust no one is willing to take the risks that innovation require.””
“The mind-sets, views, and affective relations of human beings living in a shared world make a difference in what each of us thinks is possible, fitting, or just. A vast revolution can occur in that tiny space.””
“Instead of avoiding processing by leaping into the next project, Sam got ambitious about, well, peace... She mourned the all-hands-on-deck, everyone's emergency contact, always hustling version of herself, that she knew was not coming back. "So I mourned for a couple days - I mourned my youth, I mourned my innocence, I mourned everything"...That change in identity; changing as circumstances change, rather than clinging to a fixed goal that no longer feels true, can feel like racing a ghost of yourself. My ghost self, my former self, was faster, sharper, and willing to do anything. She said yes to everything and pleased everyone. She's who I see in the mirror sometimes when I say 'no I can't' or, 'no I won't.' Or when I wonder what happened to the girl who would prove herself a million times over to an audience of no one. And smile while she was doing it.””
“When I look at myself, it's a lot of 'where is your own ambition coming from?'. And the answer is, self-loathing, and trying to earn a self that I could tolerate. Writing it down now, it feels a bit like I stumbled out of the confessional and into a crowded room. Handing over a secret everyone would have been more comfortable I keep to myself. But that was perhaps the worst slow burn realization. That self loathing could actually be productive. I internalized the belief that the more anxious I was, the faster I'd work. The worse I felt about myself, the harder I'd strive to make my work good. I strove, really, as a means of separating from myself. The worst of it is, is I couldn't exactly define what I loathed.””
“Responding well to others, especially survivors of wrongdoing, may require that we open ourselves to hearing something other than what we expect or want to hear, even when what we hear threatens our ideas about how the world is ordered”
“Frameworks like Laravel”
“El signo de los verdaderos campeones es la capacidad de ganar grandes partidos. Esto puede sonar un poco arrogante, ya que acabo de ganar Wimbledon, pero es así».””
“Cashier for payments and subscriptions, Echo for WebSockets, Scout for search, Passport for API authentication, Dusk for frontend testing, Socialite for social login, Horizon for monitoring queues, Nova for building admin panels, and Spark to bootstrap your SaaS.””
“Das ist das Höchste. Ruhig auf dem Rücken liegen und dabei keine Schlafgeräusche entstehen lassen. Das stört mich, wenn einer Schlafgeräusche von sich gibt. Wenn einer in meiner Nähe schnarcht oder stöhnt oder lallt, dann hau ich dem eine runter. Mehrmals pro Nacht. Am nächsten Tag frage ich besorgt, ob er gut geschlafen habe.””
“Ich möchte nie Meerschweinchen als Haustiere. Überhaupt finde ich diese Kleintiere ziemlich schlimm. [...] Vier Kinder, zwei Meerschweinchen, ein Einfamilienhaus und sozialdemokratisch wählen. So vergiftet sich die Gesellschaft.””
“The divine truth cannot be slain. Even though it may be mocked and crucified and buried, it will rise victoriously on the third day and reign in triumph through all eternity." - Reformation martyr.””
“Only a self capable of being jolted out of its mundane complacency is up to the task of both hearing what repair demands and helping to invent new responses to harms that no preexisting remedy fully comprehends.””
“If you cannot contribute to intellectual pleasures--lasting forever--contribute to corporeal ones, though they be ephemeral.””
“Der ideale Ort ist immer da, wo ich gerade bin. Ich spüre kein mich aufzehrendes Verlangen, Indien zu bereisen. Auch in die Mongolei gehe ich nicht, da wird einem nur das Pferd gestohlen.””