Quotes by Sophie Gay

“Like … most of the school has figured out you’re gay.” “Oh. Interesting. I haven’t met most of the school, so don’t know how they managed that.” “Yeah, but…” I knew what he was getting at. It was fine. Whatever. It’s not like it was a state secret or anything. And hey, if people guessed, it saved me having to have a discussion about my sexual preferences with people who didn’t even know if I preferred ham or peanut butter on my sandwiches. For reference, the answer was, “both, simultaneously.””

“I find the lack of bees in this book disturbing. But I guess the gay unicorns were okay.””

“Ladies, bonjour. My name’s Madame Fi-Fi.” Her Frenchaccent was thick, and I could hardly understand a word she wassaying. “Welcome to the Gay Paris.”We both sniggered under our breaths, immature I know;Madame Fi-Fi gave us a stern look.“You are the new dancers?” she asked, sounding prettydisappointed. “You looked taller in your pictures”“Erm…” Fran smiled. “We were wearing high heels.” Fran goton her tiptoes and fell over and knocked over a coatrack.Great first impressions.””

“And so what?” I asked. “So what if they know I’m gay? Why, exactly, does that mean you can’t be seen with me? Am I contagious? Because I guess that’d explain a lot.” As far as explanations went, that’d win an award for creativity. Sorry, I stopped texting you because my precise strain of “gay” was only temporary. Kind of like salmonella.””

“When you’re waiting for someone to e-mail,When you’re waiting for someone to call –Young or old, gay or straight, male or female –Don’t assume that they’re busy, that’s all.Don’t conclude that their letter went missingOr they must be away for a while;Think instead that they’re cursing and hissing –They’ve decided you’re venal and vile,That your eyes should be pecked by an eagle.Oh, to bash in your head with a stone!But since this is unfairly illegalThey’ve no choice but to leave you alone.Be they friend, parent, sibling or loverOr your most stalwart colleague at work,Don’t pursue them. You’ll only discoverThat your once-irresistible quirkIs no longer appealing. Far from it.Everything that you are and you doMakes them spatter their basin with vomit.They loathe Hitler and herpes and you.Once you take this on board, life gets better.You give no one your hopes to destroy.The most cursory phone call or letterMakes you pickle your heart in pure joy.It’s so different from what you expected!They do not want to gouge out your eyes!You feel neither abused nor rejected What a stunning and perfect surprise.This approach I’m endorsing will net youA small portion of boundless delight.Keep believing the world’s out to get you.Now and then you might not be proved right.””