“You have to prove yourself over and over, and when the glory for your most recent achievement expires, as it must, as it always will, you have to start again, but with more eyes trained on you, more people waiting for the day your talent withers, and your discipline weakens, and your charm wears away. Success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.””
“We turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. Then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. But sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it.””
“If I’d kissed you,” he goes on, “you would have wanted me for an afternoon, and I would have wanted you for the rest of my life.””
“I've always had this theory that if I wanted something badly enough, the universe will make sure to keep it just out of my reach”
“It's so easy to fall into the assumption that anything someone else gains is something you lose. To think of success as some lavish party with only a limited number of invites. To convince yourself that if you could only make it to a certain point in the distance, you'll finally find a place to rest. To feel like there's always more than you can do. But I mean, look what's being done to us - to our self-esteem, to our pride, to our bodies. We're exhausted and on the verge of breaking down at any second and... somehow we're expected to just keep going.””
“It's my life, I think with amazement, and it's beautiful, and I can paint it any color I want to.””
“It's so easy to be generous when you lack nothing. To be nice when you're not in pain. It doesn't matter if people are cheering for someone else, because they're already cheering for me.””
“I want to get good grades. Graduate. Get a job in whichever field my strengths lie."His brows furrow, like he doesn't quite believe me. "Not what you're passionate about?" he asks delicately. I lift my chin. "I'm passionate about being good at things." There's a defensive edge in my voice, and Mr. Chen must hear it. He drops the subject."Well, all right then. I suppose I should let you go to lunch..." "Thanks, Mr. Chen."But as I turn to leave, he adds, very quietly, "You're still a kid, you know."I falter. "what?"His eyes are kind, almost sad when he looks at me. "Even if it doesn't feel that way now, you're still only a kid." He shakes his head. "you're too young to be this hardened by the world. You should be free to dream. To hope.””
“It's cruel, really, how the world tends to present its most beautiful parts to you when you're so profoundly sad.””
“For everyone who's ever wished they could be someone else.””
“I am not Jessica Chen. And maybe Jessica Chen herself isn't either. Maybe nobody is. The very idea of her is a construct, a myth, a distraction, the dream we're forever reaching toward but can never equite grasp.””
“I’ve always wanted that: to be looked up at, to be known by people I’ve never even spoken to before, to be special, distinct, standing up on the tallest, brightest platform. But only now do I realize that when you’re out in the open, alone under the lights, and everyone else is in the darkness, you make for such a terribly easy target.””
“That's the one thing I've worked for my entire life -- to be someone who matters. That's why my parents moved to this country. That's my purpose. If I can't do it, then what's the point of anything? What's the point of me? What possible value could I provide?””
“Because to me, wanting has always been indistinguishable from pain.””
“Something in me is missing. Lacking.””
“There's nothing you want more than to want -- you'll obsess over something, and convince yourself that so long as you get it, you'll be happy, but then once you do, you're immediately dissatisfied and want something else.””
“Sometimes I forget that in the bigger scheme of things, it's okay to not be the best at everything. To be surrounded by people who can solve problems you can't, who are talented in different ways, who will go on to change the world.””
“This would be an absolutely incredible, life-changing thing if it happened to me. But for you? It's just another accomplishment, isn't it?””
“look what’s being done to us”
“You know, I used to have this theory that if I wanted something badly enough, the universe would make sure to keep it just out of my reach. Like a cruel joke, or a trick. But . . . maybe the cruelest trick the universe can play on us is to give us exactly what we wish for.””
