“But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they’re not so funny anymore.”
Quotes by Jonathan Dunn
“My old man always told me never do anything during the day that will keep you awake at night.”
“Even if we don’t have a clock, we’re all on the clock – from clocking in and out at work to clocking in and out of this world.”
“Today is the day that I learn women have an innate connection to Mother Nature; a sixth sense for the bitter-sweet cycle of life, whereas men are challenged with five.”
“My wife’s contractions, labour, and birth was the most intense biology class of my life; it certainly topped Glugger’s biology classes where we did nothing but burn litmus paper. My wife’s waters just broke! Who cares if it’s alkaline or acidic!”
“Okay, that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m going to trade in my Biblical Studies PhD for a hot dog!”
“Look,’ Jesus points out, ‘do you think the guy cleaning the public toilets really wants to be dealing with people’s shit on a Monday morning? No, he does it because it’s in his contract. I’m dealing with people’s shit twenty-four-seven because,’ turning to the hobbled crow and speaking sarcastically, ‘it’s in my contract.”