Quotes by James Slade

“It never failed to unnerve me that my general manager was a ten-year-old girl trapped in the body of a two-hundred-and-sixty-five-pound, forty-something lumberjack.””

“Penises. My God, all the penises. Man-sized, porn-star cocks on every one of them. None of them were fully hard or anything, but if this was how big they were flaccid… Jesus.””

“I barely knew who he was, but I couldn’t stop thinking Here he is at last. Here was something I’d forgotten I’d been waiting on.””

“Oh, wait. I’m thinking this is how the conversation went... Phone rings, you answer with a grunt. He grunts back. You grunt, then he grunts, grunts, grunts. Then you both hang-up. That the gist of it?””

“Remember when I was telling you about Jody Summers, and I said there was another author who came here too? Well, he writes romances set at the campground. Of course, he changes all the names and stuff, but we all know it’s about us. I’m definitely gonna buy the next one and see if he put me in it.””