Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue””

“To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.””

“Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.””

“, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man”

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.””

“Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are not as they ought to be.””

“Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.””

“The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.””

“Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.””

“Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.””

“Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.””

“Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.””

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.””