Sht My Dog Says

'I'm 30-something and live with my 75-year-old (in dog years) dog. He was allergic to my girlfriend, so she moved out. Now its just the two of us, kibbles, and beer. Hes an awesome dogkind of like Nietzsche if hed been furry and prone to sniffing butts. I write down the sh*t he says, and here it is.'' From ''Dont be fooled. The cat is evil,'' to ''You know why I like to take a walk? So I can smell things you never touched,'' to ''Nothing beats the feeling of jowls flapping in the wind,'' this mini parody treasury of canine witpacked with evocatively funny line artis the straight poop scooped.