Torn

My Dad told me life wasn't meant to be easy, I don't think he ever anticipated it would turn out as heart breaking as it did. Before one miserable night in 2014 there were two actions I'd never contemplated doing in my life, write a book or jumping off a 20-story balcony. However, this night I found myself so afraid and despondent that I leaned against my balcony railing and wished that I could take away all the pain I was feeling with one action. What could drive a man to consider taking his own life? The injustices of this world are many, but I never knew how a single one might disheartened someone so intensely. How many others suffer silently as I was? At that moment, I sat at my computer and started writing a suicide note. As I typed, I started to weigh up the fun moments in my life versus the difficult ones. With my life resting perilously on the edge, I had the strength to be open, honest and unrepentant. Only when we start to die, do we stop apologizing for who we are, what we have done and what we go through in life. My only challenge was to make myself want to laugh again.