By the Pint2024

Dima Black might be the richest, most successful vampire in all of Borderlands, but all he wants to do is sew his quilts. Dima enjoys a quiet life in his inner-city Remy apartment with his flatmates, a fridge full of B+, and his fluffy bunny slippers. At least, as quiet as things can be for a mind-reading vampire. He definitely doesn’t need some gorgeous telepathic human ex-athlete showing up and upside-downing his undeath. But when Dima is summoned to present the keynotes speech at the Bloodsucker’s in Business conference, that’s exactly what happens. Disgraced former wingball star Casey ‘The Temper’ Freckleman wants only one thing, immortality. Luckily for Casey, his master has promised to turn him into a vampire if he can telepathically extract business secrets from the famous Dima Black. Should be easy, right? Casey’s never struggled with this sort of thing before. Unfortunately for Casey he can’t seem to break into Dima’s mind, and the vampire himself turns out to be the most distractingly distracting man alive … or undead.